from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
