Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
