god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
and she was petting her beer can
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
