I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
