it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
