It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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