wrigley field is MILF paradise
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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