I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
