I look better un-naked...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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