I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
