Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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