OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
As shirtless as possible
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
please don't ironically join a cult
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