he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
