WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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