Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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