Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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