Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
