I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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