remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
