Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
