its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its about making memories worth repressing
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
