Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
pray to the hookup gods
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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