I am in a vortex of obligation.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
