apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
