I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize