i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
dude. I can hear the air.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
