would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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