maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
