Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
