IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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