Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
