If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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