I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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