in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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