Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
