What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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