matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
