How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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