i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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