I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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