you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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