I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
