He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
