New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
