I'm gonna have a badass scar
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
