I hate all girls vehemently.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So squirting runs in the family.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
