All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
