): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
