Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
