He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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