how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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