Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Me too!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
