what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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