I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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