Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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