"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
