The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have aggressive nipples.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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