im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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