I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
