I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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