the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
