I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
