I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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