do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize